A couple of years ago I was in the darkest of places when survival instinct kicked in. It pushed me in, what turned to be, the rightest of directions - towards myself.
In the midst of the storm there was a moment of clarity when I asked myself what kind of a person I wanted to be. This was the answer I got: strong, loving, forgiving, kind, happy, always smiling, and above all positive. At that particular time I seldom exhibited the aforementioned traits. I was as negative as a person can be - with a constantly bleak vision; blaming myself, blaming others, blaming life.
It took absolute determination to say "Enough" to the negative, and change my life around. It began with a simple word - YES. I made a conscious effort to focus on the good instead of the bad, to see qualities rather than flaws, to see beauty rather than ugliness - in my life, in other people, in circumstances and events.
I had an old rag with random words written on it. Without thinking much about what I was doing, I cut out the word "Yes", and put it on the coffee table in my living so that I could look at it every day and let it reprogram my brain.
That is how how I began; how I was reborn. Maybe that's the reason why this is one of my favourite sayings:
"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity" - Albert Einstein.
A lot has happened since that first moment of my new life, I even moved, yet I still have that cutout word "Yes" sitting where I can see it.
Namaste.
("Da" means "Yes" in Serbian)
Pre par godina našla sam se na vrlo mračnom mestu, kada mi je proradio instinkt za preživljavanje. Gurnuo me je u, kako se ispostavilo, najpravijem od svih pravaca - ka meni samoj.
Usred oluje koju sam živela, pojavio se trenutak jasnoće u kom sam se zapitala kakva to osoba ja, u stvari, želim da budem. Ovo je odgovor koji sam dobila: jaka, puna ljubavi, osoba koja oprašta, koja je ljubazna, zadovoljna, uvek nasmejana, i iznad svega pozitivna. U tom momentu sam retko kad ispoljavala pomenute osobine. Bila sam negativna koliko se negativan može biti - sa stalno sumornom vizijom budućnosti; kriveći sebe, kriveći druge, kriveći život.
Bila je potrebna apsolutna odlučnost da kažem "Dosta" negativnosti, i da preokrenem svoj život. Sve je započelo jednom jednostavnom rečju - DA. Svesno sam se potrudila da se fokusiram na na dobro umesto na loše, da u vidim vrline radije nego mane, da vidim lepotu umesto ružnoće - u mom životu, u drugim ljudima, u situacijama i događajima.
Imala sam jednu staru krpu na kojoj su bile ispisane razne reči. Bez previše razmišljanja o tome šta radim, isekla sam reč "Da", i stavila je na stočić u dnevnoj sobi gde mogu stalno da je vidim. Dozvolila sam joj da mi reprogramira mozak.
Ovako sam ja počela, ovako sam se ponovo rodila. Možda je to razlog zbog kog mi je ovo jedna od omiljenih izreka:
"Usred nevolje leži prilika" - Albert Ajnštajn
Mnogo toga se dogodilo od tog prvog momenta mog novog života, čak sam se i preselila, ali taj isečak sa rečju "Da" i dalje držim na veoma vidljivom mestu.
Namaste.
